Customer Service

I had a problem with one of my credit card machines the other day.  It was right in the middle of one of the busiest days of my year.  Needless to say I was a little upset.  So I called my credit card company’s customer service line.  I went through the usual… “if you would like me to send your call to nowhere, press 1; if you would like to talk to someone that has no idea what you are taking about, press 2; if you would like to continue to listen to this mind-numbing music, press 3.  Remember, do not talk to yourself or swear under your breath because we are recording this for training purposes.”  Why someone needs training to completely ignore you is beyond my comprehension.  And why does the creepy computer voice ask you to type in your account number because if you can stay long enough to actually talk to a real person they ask you all over again what you account number is.  I’m not sure but I think it is similar to those buttons on the traffic lights at pedestrian crossings.  Like pushing the big yellow button, having you type in your account number doesn’t actually do anything but gives you something to do while you’re waiting.   After hearing the Carpenter’s “Close to You” played on the pan flute for the 8^th time, I finally got to talk to an actual person.  So now I get to tell my sob story.  I get through the gist of it and the person finally asks me, “What is your V number?”  I’m pretty sure I don’t have it because I don’t even know what he is talking about.  “I can’t do anything without a V number”, he says.  I reply “could you give me a hint?”  “No, if you don’t have your V number we can call you silly names and then hang up without getting ourselves in trouble on that recording for training purposes.”  I am not in my office - where if I did have a V number I might be able to find it in a file that I may or may not have filed.  So I go in search of my computer muttering under my breath things that probably will make the credit card companies Christmas party blooper tape.  I think, maybe in some e-mail someone mentioned a V number but as I was holding the phone to my ear with my shoulder I disconnect the call.  So I have to call back.  When I finally connected with a different person this time, he asked me “What type of credit card machine is it?”  I tell him.  “Oh I’m so sorry, we don’t support your product”.  He’s saying he’s sorry but I don’t hear it in his tone.  The tone I hear is, “I’m so glad I don’t have to talk to this bozo”.  This drama plays out in several other calls to several other people with several other accents.  I finally find someone that actually knows about the type of credit card machine I have.  He helped me through some diagnostics but in the end he had to declare the machine dead to the world.  You would think I would have been more upset by this news.  I have to say I wasn’t thrilled but I felt better because I finally got through to someone that knew about my machine and was able to help me with my problem.  That was so much better than the run around I was getting from everyone else.  I found someone that I could communicate with and that gave me a way to solve my problem.

This got me thinking, as Christians, how’s our “customer service”?  When someone needs our help, do they get our phone-bot?  You know… “If you want to know how busy I am, press 1; if you would like me to be disinterested and pass your problem on to a minister, press 2; if you would like me to just act like a friend instead of actually being your friend, press 3.” Do they get a disinterested person going through the motions?  “If you think you have problems just listen to mine”.   Do they get “I really don’t have time for this clown”?  Or, do they get a real person? - A person that knows how to talk their language and knows how they feel.  Someone that relates to them on a personal level not just saying “go and be fed” but actually feeding them physically, emotionally and spiritually.  Someone that doesn’t necessarily know the answers but can point them towards The One that does know all of the answers.  As Christians we are all customer service representatives all of the time.  So when called upon we must always answer with a clear voice, be polite, listen attentively and direct the caller to Someone that can help them with any problem they may have. 

“Hello, how may I direct your call?”